Over committed and learning to say no

Hello Friends,

When I look back over nearly 2 1/2 years of writing about life on Frugal Hill, I notice that at times I’ve been overcommitted with work, home life and everything else and I’ve been pretty frazzled.

Nearly a year ago, I was bounced into being treasurer for a group I’m a member of.  Now I’ve done quite a bit of volunteering over the years.  I’ve been a school governor, playgroup secretary, all the usual things, but these dropped off when I went back to work full time.  This time when I was asked, I had a funny feeling that I should really say no – I really don’t have enough time to do anything else.

Unfortunately at the time I felt under pressure and a bit guilty about saying no, so I agreed to do it.  At the moment it’s all getting a bit too much – I’ve got a mass of emails from people wanting this that and the other.  However, I have recognised that as this is a voluntary thing, it will have to take second place to more important things.  My family always come first and I’ve had to take Edie and Bee back to their respective universities this week, so rather than try and cram all this in to not enough time, I have said that I won’t be attending this week’s meeting.

I have learned my lesson that it’s ok to say no and not feel guilty about it.  I’ve realised that divesting myself of commitments is part of de-cluttering my life, so I’ve decided that I will do this role for one more year (then I will have served 2 years) and then I will step down.

Have you ever found yourself over committed?  How did you extricate yourself from too many commitments?

Until next time, Tawney x


Over committed and learning to say no — 3 Comments

  1. Oh Tawney, I’ve been down that road, with a vengeance. I have also done the usual ‘school and playgroup’ stuff, and then I was into the Guiding `movement so there was plenty to do there (though I really enjoyed it) When I went back to full time nursing /health visiting there was still opportunity to volunteer for things and I also discovered quilting at this point; committees reared their ugly heads again and I developed an arm which rose of its own volition when volunteers were called for!

    I think it is fine to stand up and say… I have put my time in over the years, now I am having a well deserved break, someone else can take over the reins. And be firm. Get a friend to uphold your statement and prevent you from caving in! Good luck!

  2. Hello Tawney… I have learned to say no quite early in my journey. The situation was quite taken out of my hand with my daughter’s disabilities. Don’t feel guilty. Be honest with how much you can handle. In the long run, the less stress you have, the better you will be able to accomplish what you want. Family always comes first in my book also 🙂

  3. I am useless at saying no. I am currently chair of governors at school and show secretary for our allotment society because of my inability to say no.

    I have decided to step down as chair this time (not til November as I stupidly agreed to do another year). I am dreading telling the head but know I will feel quite relieved when I do. I am building myself up to it.

    Ridiculous really – my children are no longer there so I have no ties to the school but still I feel bad about it!

    I would love to know how people who find it easy to say no do it,